The Closest Shave You'll Ever Get

Wow.

I will have my write up tomorrow in the morning for this film but seriously, just WOW. Amazing, amazing, amazing. I may now have a new favorite Burton film. I'll have to watch Ed Wood once more to have a final thought but seriously, just WOW.

Can't get better then this.

I hope i am not the only person that is just looking over The Dark Knight cast list and is just floored. I seriously can't believe that cast. Just amazing. Amazing + Badass = The Dark Knight cast. Seriously just take a look at that cast. Can't wait.

Also saw the Joker 6 minutes in Imax which can well be defined as William Fichtner and Heath Ledger fucking shit up for 6 minutes. Watching the Fichtner/Ledger fucking shit up for 6 minutes in Imax also means i saw "I Am Legend". I will have a write up for that film tomorrow. All i can say is that i did not expect what i saw. Does this mean i liked the film? Hated the film? Thought i was alright, kinda tight? Hmm...find out tomorrow...if you dare.

There Will Be Bud

Yes, my friends I just did that. I put Bud instead of Blood for the upcoming Paul Thomas Anderson film. All in great fun i must say. This is the "I gotta get really blazed and watch this film" List. Let's start off shall we? The premise is simple, get high and watch these movies when they come out. This list will show the top contenders to the upcoming films which will be hilarious and/or awesome to see stoned. So everyone, grab your bong and laugh along.

5. Jumper

The film in which Hayden Christensen teleporting and kicking ass while...teleporting. This is going to be hilarious. How you can not laugh at the fact that Samuel L Jackson needs to rope up Hayden with some teleport restricting device just so he can calm the fuck down and stay in place. Then he befriends Jaime Bell and they just teleport to Egypt and kick it on a sphinx. This shit is going to be hilarious.



4. Cloverfield

This is where the 3 M's come into play. Monster Movie Marijuana. Having weed while watching a monster movie is the perfect time to be stoned. A huge creature fucking shit up for a good hour and a half and you aren't high? Why the hell are you watching a monster movie then? This is also going to be a great experience because i believe the hand held camera will greatly heighten the effect. It'll make it feel real and just awesome.



3. Alvin and the chipmunks

You know damn well this is going to be hilariously stupid. Alvin and the chipmunks singing Funky Town. I'll be first in line and also ALVIN EATS THEODORE'S SHIT!



2. Rambo

John Rambo just blew someone up with a machine gun. How is that possible? Do you really care? This film is going to be AMAZING. I really truly believe that. It's going to be absolutely great. This is also my most anticipated film right now. Even more so then There Will Be Blood and Sweeney Todd. You might be thinking to yourself then why isn't this your number one on the "THERE WILL BE BUD" list. Well my friends...just scroll down and see what Number 1 is.



1. The Water Horse: Legend of the deep

Just watch the trailer. Trust me. This will be the best film to watch stoned.

THE BEST FILM EVER MADE.

This is the trailer to the best film ever made which means this is the best trailer ever made.



If you would turn to your webster's dictionary and look up "Badass", you would see that trailer there. This films is AMAZING. It makes no fucken sense. So many people get caught on fire, people get shot and fall off of cliffs and guess what? It's about the lost city of ATLANTIS. Best Movie Ever.

Grade- A+ (I tried to find the symbol of infinity but i couldn't find it...damn you wingdings!)

What's Up Fatlip?

Fatlip is arguably the most underrated rapper of all time. The lyrics that this man spits are very heartfelt and realistic. He doesn't paint a picture of himself being a thug and shooting up people, he tells us that he wishes he was that people so he can rap about those things. Fatlip's writing technique is filled with honesty, he doesn't have the ability to create a story so he gives us the truth which is a hundred times more effect in lyrical terms.

Every song on the album "The Loneliest Punk" is a personal view into what he has been doing since the break up of the classic hip hop group "The Pharcyde". The line "I could have been a legend like Big or Pac/but i got a bad case of writers block" is one of the most saddest lyrics in music. It's truthful because this man has the talent like the legends Tupac and Biggie but in a different way. Tupac and Biggie created, Biggie never got into huge gun shoot outs like his songs depict. He would create in which people thought would be the image of the normal hip hop artist.



What Fatlip gives us is the bare bone essentials and that is all we need. A truthful artist that speaks his mind and isn't afraid to let anything out. The Loneliest Punk is one of the most personal albums you will ever listen to. It's sad, humorous and very moving at times. I didn't mention any track titles because all of them are just amazing. Some might find that the album may have a to many "skits" but it's a deeper look into Fatlip. Those skits are answering machine messages of Fatlip calling his producers and managers while he would think of a new idea for the album. We get to hear Fatlip at his lowest and creatively highest while he personally plays a beat with his mouth, its just very beautiful. He get to hear the excitement in his voice as he manipulates his voice to sound like a bass and drums. This is Hip Hop at it's greatest.

The Loneliest Punk - A+



(Yes, that was the voice of Spike Jonze at the beginning of that video because he directed it. He also made a short documentary called "What's up Fatlip?" which is an amazing documentary.)

Two Layers of Cake.

Cake is one of the best bands out right now. They don't get as much credit as they truly deserve. A band that has such a great range from Jazz, hip hop to rock and with a dash of funk all while being driven by John McCrea's amazingly mono tone voice in which threads all the music genres together. They have had a few hits every now and then, most notably "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" and "The Distance".

I've always been a fan of their work but never really listened to a complete album all the way through. I decided to pick up "Fashion Nugget" (1996) and "Pressure Chief" (2004), both albums vastly different. Sadly to say, one being completely amazing and the other horrible.



Fashion Nugget is filled with amazing music, fun and somewhat poetic lyrics. The album starts off with the an amazing track "Frank Sinatra" which gives the rest of the album the perfect feel. It's fun, smart and filled with great music. Then we have what could be Cake's masterpiece entitled "The Distance". A song about a man driving towards the finish which has been already crossed but yet he is determined to finish. It can also be about a man who has lost his significant other and is wanting her back even though she has already gone on with her life.

Cake has a fascination with cars, every album uses them as metaphors that can trick the listener into thinking the song is a joke or can pull something deep from within and make the track completely personal. Fashion Nugget uses the vehicle metaphor to it's advantage and uses it only when is needed. On the other hand Pressure Chief uses the motor metaphor until it runs out of gas and dies.



The problem with Pressure Chief is that the music doesn't give the listener the opportunity to pick which way he or she wants to listen to the album. It can't be taken in a serious or fun way because the music isn't up to par. Ofcourse they have a few exceptions with the a great rendition of Bread's classic ballad "The Guitar man". Other then that the album falls flat. To many car references, every other song uses it and it gets tiresome.

Another problem with Pressure Chief is that John McCrea attempts to sing. His singing voice isn't bad but it's his powerful one note voice that made so many people fall in love with this band. His voice doesn't stand out as much and is lost between the notes of the music that he is trying to hit. That being said, Pressure Chief is their latest effort and i hope to death that John goes back to his mono tone voice. It's very commanding and like the music gives you the choice of which way you want to listen, fun or personal.

Fashion Nugget- A
Pressure Chief- D+

Delicious Vinyl

If you know Fatlip then you know where my title is from. I will start doing write ups for music now since i have been listening to alot of complete albums lately. These are some that I have listened to.

Cake- Pressure Chief
Cake- Fashion Nugget
Jay Z- The Black Album
Fatlip - The loneliest Punk
Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
Arctic Monkeys - Favorite Worst Nightmare
Bjork - Volta
Wu-Tang Clan - 8 Diagrams

About two of the albums i have listed above are just me doubling back on them. I have already listened to them but i would just like to put my two cents in.

Oh, I'll write them up before the weekend is finished. So nothing just yet. A tease...just a tease...for now. I suppose i can leave you with this.




If you don't love Rowan Atkinson, I don't believe we need to be friends.

(I'm sure this is the first post in history that started off with a picture of Ol' Dirty Bastard and ended with Rowan Atkinson playing invisible drums. Saw it here first)

No Country like this Country.

I just came back from what might be the best film of the year and is definitely one of the best I've seen in a long time. I'm not going to give a write up on this film because i think it's impossible to accurately describe what this film is truly about. I've read many and none prepared me for what i witnessed.

I was lucky to see this at a theater that was hardly full. Many empty seats, the coldness of the theater gave this film a wonderful loose lonely atmosphere like how the wide open deserts in which Josh Brolin is hunting gave an effect for the film. The quiet noises, no sounds, the film literally only has two or three scenes of music. Two which include the now infamous "coin scenes" and one is a piece of music coming from a car which only leads to a bad sign of things to come. The music is never prominent in the film, it hides under the breathing of Javier Bardem's character "Anton Chigurh", under the quiet mellow voice of Tommy Lee Jones' Narration. Everything is quiet until when things no longer need to be quiet.

My eyes glued to the screen as this magnificent story unfolds. The Coen brother's giving you enough slack to hold onto, then before you know it, everything changes as the scene ends. It's a wonderful piece that is filled with intelligent characters, no matter how crazy some are. Amazing dialogue, wonderful performances where its hard for someone to stand out because everyone is so damn good. It's simple for someone to point out Javier's work which is astonishing but it's because he is a psychotic mad man that kills people with air. The Smaller performances work just as well, especially with Woody Harrelson's character which i absolutely loved. How can you possibly bring someone flowers while they are recovering at a hospital and basically tell them that they don't have a chance of living from the heartless insane "Anton Chigurh". Something very surreal and off but that is all attributed to the Coen Brother's style.

It is going to be very hard to top this film. I have never sat in a theater having the cold feeling of someone behind me getting ready to murder me with compressed air. I recommend seeing this in a empty theater so you can experience every little detail in the sound. When things are quiet and the sound is non existent, your brain will do the work for you and create a paranoia that films these day's just don't do anymore. The sound of someone dropping a coin will literally make you jump out of your seat.

I didn't want this to be a write up. I just needed to say something about this amazing, amazing film.

Grade A+

Wet Sponge?...WE ARE DOOMED!

Zero Hour (Hall Bartlett, 1957)


Hilariously bad. This is going to be very brief because i don't want to talk shit about this film because i absolutely loved it. Let me give you the rundown.

(For the ill educated, this is what "Airplane!" parodies.)

Fighter pilot crash lands only to discover that his fellow pilots are dead.

Fighter pilot is now traumatized from flying.

10 years later, his wife is sick of him and decides to take his son on a plane to get away from him.

Fighter Pilot goes on plane to get them back.

Bad Fish.

Ugh...my stomach hurts.

WET SPONGE?!

I'm going to buy you a drink and shake your hand.

Grade-AWESOME (real grade C-)

So call me a liar.

I suppose i lied. Hopefully this sets the mood right.




Will you forgive me for not putting up those reviews?

How can you say No to bearforce1?

This would go well with some bangers and mash

Radiohead's In Rainbows Disc 2 is just magnificent. Some of the best work Radiohead has ever put out is located on it. Last flowers and Down is the new up just left me speechless.

Tomorrow I'll have some write ups on films that I've been watching and ALSO I'll be doing write ups on some music that I've been listening to. So drop by tomorrow so you can agree or disagree with my opinions. It's the beauty of a blog. Internet shit talk.


Hmm...Internet Shit talk, sounds like a rather good band name.

I need a drummer.

Music to my ears.

I have seen two musicals "Hairspray (2007)" and "Across The Universe". Both of these films are very different, the only thing that they have in common are that they are both in fact musicals. Where they differ are the way the films express themselves.




First we have "Across the Universe" which is the Beatles musical about a group of kids in the 60's where many things are changing. Activist on the streets, the drug scene is exploding and the Vietnam war is beginning. The Beatles music which i love is a period piece of this era, it's very significant to the young minds that opened their ears to the music of The Beatles. Everything should fit perfectly but sadly it doesn't. Julie Taymor makes a lovely feast for our eyes to gorge on but she leaves out all the characters. Everyone in the film seems so dead, the actors try so hard to add some life into them and it just comes off as way too cute. The cuteness that is conveyed is very distracting when the film turns into a serious tone when we have a wonderful rendition of strawberry fields forever being set to visuals of Strawberry shaped grenades exploding in glorious bright reds. It's beautiful but after the injecting of life given by The Beatles music we then go back to the lifeless characters. Across The Universe is an amazing disaster of a film.

A musical is a very fragile type of film. One false step and everything can go wrong. Things need to be very leveled to keep the audience believing that in this world people can break out into song and dance then gently slide back into reality, in of course which the film sets out to be. The film "Hairspray", the 2007 version directed by Adam Shankman is a far more superior film in every aspect because he knows the structure of a musical. He fills the screen with Dances that will make you want to get up yourself and join them. The characters are so wonderful you actually feel for them. You smile when they smile, you feel down when they feel down. The film is very well structured and paced. It literally doesn't miss a beat when it has an opportunity to go for broke and just be a well entertaining film and that is exactly what this film is. Pure Entertainment. I loved every second of it. Travolta is just great as Edna, Walken is amazing as always and the rest of the cast give it their all. Hairspray also has a scene that is very quickly becoming a favorite of mine where we have Travolta and Walken's dancing under a starry night. It's just beautiful.

After watching both films i noticed that i never thought this would be the outcome. I honestly thought Across the Universe would be the better film. It just goes to show you that just because you have a director like Julie Taymor who directed "Frida" and "Titus" can drop the ball. It just astonishes me that Adam Shankman who made the critical bashed "The pacifier" and "Bringing down the house" can make such a terrific film.

Across the Universe - Grade C-

Hairspray - Grade A+ (Not the best film of the year but definitely my favorite)

More Movies

You honestly can't get more fun then this. Everything is in this film. They go 70's style, de palma split screens, awesome music and even a "Warriors" reference. This is hands down the best Action film i have seen in a long long time.

Grade A



Fun but really doesn't bring anything new.

Grade C



This is NOT a kung fu film. This is just a really really great film. I absolutely loved it. Sonny Chiba at his best. This man is probably one of the first actors i followed as a teenager even before i got into cinema. Just great.

Grade A+

Many Movies

Fun Solid Thriller...like i said...very brief.
Grade B



Very Beautiful looking film. Ken Loach and his cinematography do wonders in this piece. Acting is very top notch. The only thing that really hurts this film is that we don't feel the relationship of the brothers in it. When the climax comes we just watch blandly just agreeing with what happens and not really feeling for them. It goes back and forth a bit on whether being a political drama or a story of family. Very good but had the opportunity to be great. In my opinion it shouldn't have won the Palm D'or but still good.

Grade A-




This film is just great, absolutely terrific in every way. The Characters are just amazing and Verhoeven is superb behind the camera. Loved this film. This is exactly the kind of films i wish were made often. You feel every kind of emotion in this epic telling of a women on a mission. Very Dramatic, loving and surprisingly comedic. One of the Best of 2006.

Grade A+

I've been rather busy...

As of late many things have been coming my way. Most all good things that hopefully will take me places in the long run. I've been listening to tons of Radiohead, most notably the new album "In Rainbows" which i can't get enough of. December 3rd can't get here quick enough, it's Christmas for every Radiohead fan that went out and purchased the Discbox. Can't wait for that, need it now.

I Have been watching many films on my hiatus from this blog stuff. Most of the films will turn up around here with a brief summary on what i thought about it, very brief mind you. I want to catch things up and log all this shit. I've been gone for too long and it feels rather good writing these kind of things down. No one necessarily has to read this but it feels comforting knowing you have your memories somewhere.

The following...brief reviews...thing's that I've been doing...more personal...not to any stupid extent. Thank you.

In Rainbows

Radiohead, the group that most people consider the best band in music today. I myself for one am a devoted Radiohead fan and have been for years. The music, concepts, themes, emotions all trigger something within many listeners which turn us into Radiohead fans. Since the debut of "Pablo Honey" and more specifically the track entitled "Creep", Radiohead has always been in the eye and ear of many music lovers. For those fans of the acclaimed band, we have a new album, a new sound, a new image. We have "In Rainbows".

"In Rainbows" is the follow up to "Hail to the thief" and Radiohead's seventh album in their discography. The 10 track album has literally been in the making since what many call Radiohead's masterpiece "OK Computer". The track "Nude" featured on the new album was being played regularly during the touring of the "OK Computer" which is ten years prior to "In Rainbows". Not only does this new album have the guitar driven, lyric heavy songs like "OK computer", it has song's that take that sound and build on top of it. The song "Bodysnatchers" which is a live favorite sounds like it would also have been in the "OK Computer" era. A song that simply captures the sound and vibe that first drew music fans to Radiohead.

The album is completely filled with beautiful pieces of music and some of Thom Yorke's best lyrics. The opening track "15 steps" is a beautiful mixture of pop music and an artist at work. In this day in age we have hardly any musicians that understand of the concept of artistic entertainment. We either have very artistic music which isn't anything to dance to, let alone bob your head or we have the musicians which all of us have heard on the radio which just play music for a paycheck. The producers write the songs and they do as they are told. Radiohead was never brought up that way and I know for a fact they won't conform to this new "style" of music.

Themes, Emotions and the creative sound of this album are all carefully blended together like a rainbow itself. It never shifts gears and doesn't have any song that comes completely out of left field, the album is amazingly structured even though none of the songs sound anything alike. Everything from "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" which may be Radiohead's most amazing achievement lyric and music wise to the hauntingly beautiful closing track "Videotape" which is guarantee to stay with you long after the song has ended are all completely different sounding songs. This is Radiohead's best structured album hands down.

The Production of the album has been talked about since the release. The sound is amazing for a download, it surpasses most Cd's in a technical aspect. Jonny's Guitar and ambient sounds have never sounded better. His older brother Colin's bass is just beautiful, you can literally feel the bass traveling from his strings to your ears and into your brain where it resides. Ed's haunting guitar is the last jigsaw falling into place making everything full and rich. As for Thom Yorke's voice and song writing, it has never been better. Everything is top notch which leads me to Mr. Phil Selway.

This is Phil's album completely. Every beat of the drums is absolutely perfect, Phil has always been an amazing drummer but on this album we get so many subtle offbeats and drum rolls that are just jaw dropping. The brilliant track "Reckoner", not to be confused with the previous and more rock track also entitled "Reckoner" has some of the most amazing drums on any album I've heard. The faint Snare rolls in the background towards the last third of the song are just genius. Also I must say I have never heard anything like the drum patterns that are playing in the last parts of Videotape. A drum pattern which adds a beat after every roll, I was literally floored.

"In Rainbows" is genius. An album filled with nothing but amazing songs and top notch production. Radiohead may have well gave us their masterpiece. I also say that in a literal sense due to the revolutionary "Pay what you want" album price that they gave to their fans. More lightening's of this album will provide us the answer if this tops "OK computer" as Radiohead's Crowning achievement, for myself it's already on par with it. How can you not love the slowly paced melody and rock out ending of "All I need"? How about the beautiful and lovely "House of cards" which i will admit didn't sit well with me when i first heard the live recording but Radiohead seemed to make it into one of their most beautiful song's in years. Last but not least the very mysterious "Faust Arp" which no one knew about is literally one of the most brilliant things Radiohead has ever done on acoustic. "Faust Arp" would make Red hot Chili Pepper's John Frusciante wish he would have written that song. "In Rainbows" is a perfect album which will definitely go down as a great step forward in marketing for music but more importantly a huge step forward for the greatest band in the world.

Thank You Radiohead.

Ebert, we love you.

"Anderson is like Dave Brubeck, who I'm listening to right now." That is a line from Roger Ebert's review on Wes Anderson's new film The Darjeeling Limited and I couldn't agree more. This is why you are the best critic around.






When the play begins, please lower the volume and let Brubeck take over.

(The opening Snare should hit right when Max let's go of the microphone)


Read Ebert's full review.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071004/REVIEWS/710040303

A girl made the dude eat vomit...and?

Audition (Takashi Miike,1999)


This is a film that many have recommended me. Friends and critics loved this film and couldn't stop talking about it. I decided to watch the film for myself and those people can't be more wrong. Most people know the plot so I'm not going to get into details. Guy holds audition, girl that he picks is insane. Well, that's actually pretty much it.

Takashi Miike starts off with a premise that can be a passable horror film but yet fails in every aspect. The film starts off very slow and boring but Miike himself says that he deliberately structured it to be boring. No filmmaker wants their film to be boring, that's literally one of the stupidest things you can say and do. What he needs to accomplish because he obviously wasn't trying is to build suspense between the characters, make the characters interesting to watch, feel for the characters. Miike takes a ordinary nice guy that has a son and wants us to feel for him. Just because he's a nice guy doesn't give him character, Miike also has his wife die in the first scene to add more sadness and it doesn't work.

Audition then goes into shock horror, not jumps but shock. Miike believes that having a girl vomit into a bowl and making her slave eat it is horrifying. For myself, i didn't even find it disgusting like so many people have. I just watched the scene play out and i told myself "was i supposed to be disgusted by that?", i suppose if the audience is weak enough then they would find that scene disgusting and just because of that call it a masterpiece. That's the only reason why i could see anyone calling it a good film because there's obviously nothing else to it.

So many people cherish Miike for gross out scenes like the one i described in the paragraph above and i honestly don't see why. It's not that i don't get it because i obviously do but there is no basis for it. The scene comes literally out of left field and not only that, they have dream sequences that also come out of nowhere. Come on, he even has a dream sequence within a dream sequence. There's no reason for the dreams either, he tries to give explanation in the commentary but he doesn't even know what he's talking about.

Grade D-

Two Amazing films.

Zodiac (David Fincher, 2007)

The best film of the year by far. Everything in the film works, the colors, direction, characters, writing and music. I absolutely loved this film and it will be hard to top. Also after going back and watching Se7en and Fight Club which were my two favorite Fincher films, Zodiac comes out on top. I would also love to see a double feature with Zodiac and Memories of Murder which is a Korean film that basically has the same plot. Both are amazing and can't be compared because they take them in two very different directions and then come to the same conclusion. Flawless films in my opinion.



The Lives of Others (Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, 2006)

A film that is so well structured, not one line of dialogue is wasted. Everything that is heard in this film has to be heard, everything that is seen has to be seen. The best scenes within the film are when our Main character just puts on his headphones and listens to the people he is observing. We listen with him, we notice every little creek in the wooden floors, our ears are open for dialogue that is important to our main characters observation and many films these day's cant take you to a place like that. Right when he removes his headphones we then start to observe him and feel what he is feeling. Our main character hardly says a word of dialogue but yet we know exactly what he's thinking. Amazing film.

Please take off the mask little mike, you look awkward.

Halloween (Rob Zombie, 2007)


This film fails on so many levels it's just hilarious. We get the same premise as John Carpenter's Original but with unnecessary back story, profanity and music. Instead of writing my write up on this film, i will show you. The video below was is literally exactly what Rob Zombie's Halloween is. It's hilarious and cringe worthy.



Yeah...I really wanted to like this film because i loved his previous effort "Devil's rejects" which i found absolutely entertaining but this just blew up in his face.

Grade D

Note: i actually saw the screener version of this film but I've heard the one that hit theaters is actually worse...sorry Zombie, better luck next time.

Pretend like nothing ever happened...

"In Rainbows" is the title of the new Radiohead album. If you know me personally you know that i am a huge Radiohead fan. You can get the album at www.inrainbows.com for as much as you want. Yes, you can pay as much as you want.

I have already purchased the discbox set which brings exactly what the picture shows above. It cost around $82.00. For Radiohead, i would have paid much much more.

Today out of all days

Last Night (Don McKellar, 1998)


A film about a group of characters living out there lives in the last six hours left until the World ends. Pretty intense stuff right? Well it is, any movie that is about the end of the world gives off some kind of depression afterwards. Just thinking about how our own personal world will end when we die. The World may not go with us but yet the world and everyone leaves when we are the ones pushing up daisies.

Don McKellar gives us a film that seems so real yet very surreal at the same time. Looking at the world in it's final conclusion and the how people are reacting towards it. Mckellar is amazing with the characters he has here, they seem like very real people that are just living life and it happens to be the end of the world which brings me to the most important line in the whole film. The line is towards the beginning of the film and it's said by Patrick Wheeler's father who is played by Robin Gammell. The line goes something like "Today, out of all days". He says this because Patrick doesn't really agree with something his family says. For myself this line is very unsettling and i just couldn't get over it. There are comedic scenes throughout the film but i didn't laugh at all because well, it's the end of the world. It's very dark comedy and I'm a huge fan of it but yet this didn't seem right.

The other thing that i believe is very important to this film is a very specific music cue that comes out when the films title is shown on screen. The 10 second piece of music is completely haunting and gives a huge dark cloud over the film and i can't help but think this is probably the most important thing about the film. Don McKellar knows his music and he put that specific piece of music over the title for a reason. Whatever that reason may be is still a mystery to me and leaves this as probably one of the most hardest write up that I've ever written. After the scene with his family that I've written about in the previous paragraph i was left thinking about the music and it left me very uncomfortable.

Last Night's haunting tone revolves around the somewhat narration of a Radio DJ that plays a countdown list of his favorite songs throughout the film. Every song played by this phantom DJ fits perfectly with whats going on screen. I believe this film would have worked even better if the film would have used the radio Countdown of songs instead of the title cards to show the passing of time.

It might sound like i hated this film but thats far from what i thought about it. This film left me absolutely stunned. So stunned that I'm not sure how much i loved the film. Something entirely original that I'm going to have to watch it several more times. I know my appreciation for this film will grow after repeated viewings but it's just so hard to come to a conclusion right now but yet i have to. A film thats so hard to describe in words but yet so easy. Hey, It's just the end of the world.

Grade A-

Great Directing + Insane story = Cult Classic

Phantom of the Paradise (Brian De Palma, 1974)

Phantom of the paradise is an insane musical ride that leaves you loving it or hating it with a passion. I doubt there is actually a middle ground for the people that have seen this film. It's not really one of those films that you can say it was just mediocre. I happened to find myself loving this insane little gem of a film.

Phantom revolves around Winslow Leach a composer that has written an amazing piece of music that a producer named swan steals from him so he can open his new Paradise palace with. Swan also then kidnaps a woman by the name of Phoenix who is the only person that Winslow will let sing the piece of music he's written. Winslow Leach gets horribly disfigured and takes up revenge upon Swan. If you love what you hear so far then i recommend for you to go check this film out.

This wonderfully weird story is brought to life by De Palma's keen eye for Wonderful choreography and amazing long takes. Towards the middle of the film we get an amazing split screen shot where both shots go on for a long period of time then both meet up at one place.

De Palma fills this surreal world with great characters like "Beef" the flamboyant heavy metal singer which steals absolutely every scene. Also we can't forget the incredible band "The Juicy Fruits" where every member seems to love to put on a dynamic show whenever on stage. Every piece of music is amazing especially the piece written by Winslow Leach. For myself this is on par with Rocky Horror even though it's nothing like it because its not really a musical. It just has music in it. I absolutely loved it.

Grade A+



I know what I want to be for Halloween now.

Show me the way to the next whiskey bar

The Doors (Oliver Stone, 1991)

I'm not going to write that much on this film. I'm a huge Doors fan and have been holding off on this film for the longest due to many people hating this film. Well, i saw the film and all i have to say is that i loved it. It's a really great biopic and Val Kilmer gives us Jim Morrison. My hat has to go off to Oliver Stone as well. He gives us a very great and artistic version of a biopic. Jim Morrison would have been proud. It really is a wonderful film and tribute to the days when The Doors were King.

Grade A

(I guess the reason why people didn't like it so much was because the film isn't just about The Doors. It's about everyone that lived during that time. That specific group that this film revolves around were united as one. I want to thank Oliver Stone for giving us more then just a film about The Doors but a film about a generation)

Eddie Murphy's best film.

Harlem Nights (Eddie Murphy, 1989)


Harlem Nights is written and directed by Eddie Murphy, most people these days would see that and just laugh it off. Well my friends, those people are all wrong. Harlem Nights is one of the funniest films i have ever seen and surprisingly its a really great film. Eddie Murphy captures the early years of Harlem perfectly. If i blind watched this movie not knowing Eddie Murphy was directing then i would have never guessed he was behind the camera. We have some wonderful shots and some fancy well thought out editing tricks that are really enjoyable.

I honestly have to give it up to Eddie for this one. I was pleasantly surprised by how much i loved this picture. Yes, it even has the right to be called a picture not just a movie. This is a picture that is set out to be serious and hilarious at the same time. For most films it would seem to be off balance to have an approach similar to this but Eddie Murphy weaves through comedy and serious scenes perfectly. One scene is comedic and the next is serious and there is some very great editing transitions from such scenes.

With a film like this filled with three generations of comedic talent it's pretty obvious the laughs always hit the mark. Every time Redd Foxx is on screen is a guarantee laugh, same goes with Pryor and Murphy. Most people might not agree with me on this but i honestly do believe that Pryor missed out on a nomination for this one. He is amazing in this film. Nothing falls flat, every second he's on screen you just want him to stay there. Eddie Murphy uses Pryor as the father role in the film and it really shouldn't work at all because Pryor being the foul mouth comedic talent that he is should just bring laughs but yet at times we find ourselves smiling at his kindness. I really really did love this film alot. It showed me how great Eddie Murphy can be when he wants to and also let me remember two of comedies finest contributors. Here's to Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx. One last thing, please get back behind the camera Eddie. I would honestly love to see another film with you directing.

Grade A

Eddie Murphy + Ghost = Hilarious

Haunted Mansion (Rob Minkoff, 2003)

This movie is pretty bad...bad ass. I'm not going to say anything except that i was laughing throughout the whole film for all the wrong reasons. Eddie Murphy getting scared by ghost, need i say more?

Grade C

(Yes, a "C" but trust me i love this film to the fullest, just for all the wrong reasons.)

Cinema's greatest achievement

Creatures of the Abyss (1994, Al Passeri)



On of normal day if someone were to ask me what is the greatest film I've ever seen i would say either Citizen Kane, Aguirre The Wrath of God or City Lights. On a great day i would say Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. I will no longer say that Shark Attack 3 is the greatest film I've ever seen. Not even that masterpiece of cinema can amount to Creatures of the Abyss.

This is hands down the greatest film ever made. I honestly could not believe what i was watching throughout this whole film. A group of people in their early 20's go on a boat in the middle of the ocean late at night for no apparent reason and end up running out of gas. They find a dead body in the ocean, get scared and decide to go on an abandoned ship that is filled with all kinds of weird shit. The ship seems to have a retarded version of "HAL" from 2001: a space odyssey that has the most stupidest voice ever. A scientist that looks exactly like Albert Einstein but always foaming at the mouth that swears to one of the characters that he will find more pussy. Last but not least we get to tell which of the characters is the total dumbass in the first 5 minutes of the film...he gets trapped in a net.

Yes, I absolutely loved this film. Everything is just amazing and you seriously won't believe one thing that your watching. Money was actually spent on this and i am glad it was because i will be watching this film over and over again. Cinema's most greatest achievement.

Grade MASTERPIECE

I would also like to add that this was the film that made me decide to write another entry in my blog. I've been watching films but i wasn't inspired to write anything. So whoever reads this can thank Creatures of the Abyss. A thanks that is well deserved on so many levels.

Now for Pictures of this MASTERPIECE.





If you liked the video i posted earlier with the fish jumping out of the water and hitting a guy in the nuts then you will love this film. Tons of fishes jumping and hitting people. Amazing.

Well...Um...

Cashback (2006, Sean Ellis)



Cashback is a little short film that got an academy award nomination. The director then decided to turn his little short into a feature. With a very promising visual style that seems to be done by everyone these days gives it a pretty look but yet the project falls within the characters.

The film is about an art student who breaks up with a girl. The art student can also stop time so he can undress girls and watch them. Yes, the same exact idea that magneto had for the Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant show "Extras". Now here is the kicker, this film takes it seriously. A voice over goes throughout the film that is suppose to sound very meaningful and artistic but yet just sounds like a pervert stopping time to check out chicks naked.

Sean Ellis fills his film with characters that really don't belong in the same universe as the main character. He gives his main character two co workers that seem straight out of a teen comedy and another third member that thinks he's a ninja. Yeah, this film is everywhere. It really is a mess of a film that tries to depend on a voice over narration to give it depth. I don't want to say it but this is one of the few films where you can see the director actually trying really hard to make something brilliant out of a stupid idea.

Cashback could have been something good if pulled off just right. It just goes to show you what a director thinks he can do when he gets a nomination for his short film. I really wouldn't talk so much shit about this film but it really did piss me off. Sean Ellis obviously copies Gondry in sequences that don't really need a "Gondry touch" to them. While Michel Gondry uses his crazy in camera tricks to push the story along, Ellis uses them for eye candy not eye protein.

Grade C-

I don't need to explain myself.

QUICK WRITE UPS!

I haven't been posting anything on this blog here because I've been way to fucken lazy. I'm sorry to anyone that reads this blog, if ofcourse anyone does. Well for your entertainment I'll leave you with some quick write ups of the films I've watched. I won't be going into detail because I'm still in the lazy mode and i have some other writing to do. Well here they are.


Volver (2006)

Pedro Almodóvar gives us a chilling, comedic and all around amazing film. We get characters thrown into problematic events that where as in any other movie we would focus all our attention on. Yet with Almodóvar's eye for story telling we get something completely fresh. We get the realistic side, we don't get the hollywood film. Loved every second of it, amazing writing, great direction. Just loved this film.

Grade A+



The Number 23 (2007)

A film that i was looking forward to in its preproduction stage. Jim Carrey playing a guy who is insane in a horror/thriller film. This sounded amazing. Sadly, the film is pretty much just stupid. We get a great fun Jim Carrey that makes the film watchable but with its weak script it all falls apart. The thing that leaves me a bit confused is that the film itself seems to know how stupid it is.

(So many people trying to commit suicide by jumping off buildings and Oh that darn dog!)

Grade C


Renaissance (2006)

Man...What the fuck? The story is cool, the acting is fine but the thing that i thought i wouldn't complain about is my biggest problem. The look of the film isn't bad, it's annoying. When i first saw the poster and the trailers it looked amazing. My problem is that you can't really set apart which character is who. Everyone looks the same, everything is way too dark or just too bright. It does take away from the film because it's trying to be stylish and give off a noir type of film but it just doesn't come across and you're just wanting to turn on a light bulb.

"It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black."-This is Spinal Tap

Grade C-

Holy Shit!

The Hellbenders (1967, Sergio Corbucci)


This isn't your normal Eastwood western, this is entirely something different. The director Sergio Corbucci was the man who brought "Django" to life. I haven't seen Django but after seeing this film I'm sure to watch it very soon. Don't go into this film thinking that your going to get a stylized beautiful film. This is as dirty as they come, which in a way gives it its own style.

We get a band of brothers out with their Father who massacre an army convoy to retrieve money so they can invade the north. Have you ever seen a cowboy film where they throw grenades at soldiers? Go get this film now! That is literally in the first 10 minutes of the film. An all out battle between 6 guys against a small army. The film has so many little cool twist and turns that fit just perfect. These guys think they got it made but the film itself is just trying to stop them. These guys are ruthless, they actually lie to people saying that their dead brother is in the casket. That's pretty fucked up if you ask me.

The film goes everywhere from there, we have a great shoot out between the brothers and the Mexican outlaws and also a face off between them and those gosh darn Indians. These shoot out scenes are filmed so simple with wide shots to let the viewer choose to pick out which fight he wants to see. The reason for this is because the star of the film isn't really revealed until the end. All these guys are bad guys and we are left with them. It's not like the Eastwood films where he's an Anti-hero. These guy's aren't Anti-hero's, just bad mother fuckers.

The Hellbenders does one thing that takes itself completely out of the western genre and actually out of any genre. The Mexican stand off is in nearly every western but we always see it play out the same way. He get them standing around each other, take a long pause and then shoot. This film basically says Fuck that and they shoot. This is a film that doesn't know it's a film. It's completely unaware of itself and that's the reason why i loved this film so much. It's amazing fun with great storytelling and the actors are great. Everything is perfect.

Grade A+

The Astronaut Farmer

The Astronaut Farmer (Michael Polish,2006)

I've been waiting for this film for a while now. Billy Bob Thornton as a farmer that wants to go into space? I'm there. This film being made by The polish brothers who i haven't seen any of their work until this film left me a bit excited. I've heard some great stuff about these guys especially with their film "Twin Falls Idaho". So ofcourse, i was ready to be taken into their world of filmmaking.

Charles Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton) is your everyday type of guy, you know the ones that have spaceships in their barns. The film starts while the ship is near completion and Mr. Farmer already has a launch date. This didn't suit me so well, how the fuck did he get that huge rocket in his barn? But hey, thats not what this film is about. It's about following your dreams and this over the hill man's dream is to go into space. We never really get to know why Farmer wants to go to the great beyond so badly. We get a few hints of it every now and then but it never really unfolds.

Farmer also has a family, two girls that love the idea that their daddy wants to go to space and his wife who thinks he may be already there. We never really get to know the family either. The polish brothers give us this really cool sounding concept and throws the audience in the middle of it. I was digging it, i really was but the lack of character just brings the film back down to earth.

We do have some great scenes that makes you feel like this ridiculous film can actually exist but they come every once in a while. The pacing of the film is a bit way too fast, doesn't let the viewer get to know these people at all. Some people may be reminded of "Forest Gump" but this is its own little film. Remember The challenger? Yeah, the spaceship that exploded. Well this film is like that. It sucks that it exploded but it's interesting to look at. I mildly liked this film.

Grade B-

Citizen Able

Able Edwards (Graham Robertson,2004)


Able Edwards is the first film to be shot entirely on green screen. It's in the Guinness books of records, the real deal. This film being executive produced by Mr. Soderbergh and directed by first time filmmaker Graham Robertson left me kind of interested. I'm always up for an interesting sounding film that is about to break ground in the cinema world so this one had my name all over it.

The plot is like Citizen Kane but instead of a newspaper mogul we get someone that is reminiscent of Walt Disney. Did i mention that it takes place in the future and they have to clone this guy? Yeah, this movie's plot is awesome. The biggest weakness is the execution of the film. The filmmakers seem to be more on the lets just make the first film entirely on green screen then making a decent film.

The character's never really get to take off except for Able but then again he is the main one to look at. Everyone else is simply telling his story just like in Citizen Kane. It's very interesting to watch Able because he's a nice guy but also an asshole at the same time. It's interesting but not rounded out.

The budget was i believe under one million dollars but i could be wrong. The look of the film is dated but a kind of cool dated unlike when you see some CGI from a long time ago. We know this film isn't going to be spectacular with the spaceships and they don't quite have that retro feel but yet it doesn't look retarded.

Able Edwards has such a great premise to it that you can't help but make up the film that you wish to see. The filmmakers just didn't know what they had going for them. They were to caught up in being the first green screen movie then actually trying to make a good film first.

Grade C

No one knows how much i love this film

Point Break (Kathryn Bigelow,1991)


I've seen this film many years ago and i decided to watch it again. I remembered key scenes but not the whole thing. I love this film, i can honestly say i can watch this film anytime of the day. This is the "go to" film, that film that you know is just so damn good that you can watch it when there's nothing to watch and not be disappointed.

I'm not going to go into detail about this film or even give it a grade. This film is way to amazing for a grade. Everything is just so great, the way the actors play off each other, the chase scene between the houses, the sky diving scenes, and the amazing finale.

The thing that i loved about this film so much is that it plays off as a buddy cop film but yet it's not. The actors play off each other so well it makes you feel like they are actually friends and not an F.B.I agent going undercover as a surfer to capture bank robbers that dress up as presidents. Yes, that's the plot.

Grade Amazing


One last thing, i just want to point this actor out. He is in my opinion one of the most under appreciated actors working today. Every scene he is in he absolutely steals and this goes for every film that I've seen him in. I really hope one day this man can land a lead role because he deserves it. This man is John C. McGinley.




This is a fan made trailer. The only reason why i put this one up is because the actual trailer to this film doesn't do it justice. Trust me, this one does.

Man...

Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus (Steven Shainberg, 2006)

I heard nothing but bad things from this film and i couldn't help but think, those people must be on drugs. How can a film with Nicole Kidman and Robert Downey Jr can even be in the same sentence as "bad film". So i took my chances and decided to watch this film and all i can say is that they were absolutely right.

This is one of those films that people that don't really know anything about cinema but try to be all that tend to love. The cinematography is beautiful, the score is wonderful, the acting is top notch but yet everything that is suppose to compliment that isn't. The script is very weak and the characters aren't there. This is a biography of a photographer so it really shouldn't be so hard. The outline is out there for them but yet with this film they completely threw that out the window and decided to make a fantasy biopic. I hope this is the first and last of it's kind.

The main character Diane played by Kidman is a woman with very little responsibility and happens to be weird. That isn't character, that's just a skeleton of a character. We never really get to know why she's the way she is. Kidman does one hell of a job but yet even her acting abilities can't save this character. Sadly goes the same with Robert Downey Jr's character which is a take on the beast from "Beauty and the beast". That's also pretty much the film, "Beauty and the beast" as a biopic.

It's a beautiful film to look at thanks to Bill pope but the rest is empty. This film is equivalent to a beautiful girl at a bar. Gorgeous on the outside but dead on the inside but there are people that like that kind of thing. You know, the guys that don't really appreciate girls just like with the "film buffs" that don't really know true cinema.

Grade D+

LETS GET READY TO CRUMBLE!!!

Godzilla 2000 (Takao Okawara, 1999)


It's a Godzilla movie, you know your going to have fun. Godzilla 2000 starts off with our giant anti hero stomping vehicles and burning down buildings. We move onto a mysterious rock that is found by scientist deep underneath the ocean. After investigation the rock is then found to be an alien spacecraft that contains a type of monster that can absorb energy. Yes, the monster uses it's power against Godzilla and leaves us with a great climax.


I'm a huge fan of Godzilla like most people are. Everyone knows the name and that name always delivers. This film does just that. It starts off very dark with hardly little intro and all mayhem. This reminded me of the original 1954 Godzilla film which the darkest of the franchise. After we get a few good moments of dark kaiju terror we get the playful human characters that most of the Godzilla films have. The Godzilla franchise wasn't really suppose to end up the way it is now. Godzilla was a metaphor for what was going on in the world at that time but now he is a monster in pop culture. Doesn't bother me one bit, i just love watching this guy on film.


Godzilla 2000 doesn't really have much monster on monster action. It focuses on the city trying to get rid of Godzilla and not try to use him for help. When the alien arrives they still try to kill Godzilla. Really dark stuff going on here but as i said before the human characters tend take us away from that just to remind us that it's not that 1954 Godzilla anymore.

At the final scene of the film we are left with a great battle and also a little social commentary but it really doesn't get its full point across. We've heard it many times before in previous Godzilla films but yet it still works.

Grade B

A Masterpiece

El topo (Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1970)

El Topo and his son fall upon a village that has been torn apart by bandits. El topo rescues a woman who leads him to four gunmen that must be defeated. Trust me, that's just a piece of this film.

This film can not be debated. You either accept it or you don't. The reasons for liking or disliking the film can vary from a huge amount of reasons. You can find it beautiful, disturbing, offensive, symbolic but what you can not find in this film is a dull piece of cinema. This film left me in awe.

I was a bit confused with Jodorowsky's "The Holy Mountain". Not because of the symbolism but because of the amazing creativity that was brought into the film. Jodorowsky has some of the most beautiful disturbing images ever caught on film. After viewing this film i have gained much more respect for "The Holy Mountain" and i will defiantly raise the grade that i gave it before. The Holy Mountain isn't perfect though but El Topo is.

You can see these films as amazing pieces of cinema or just a man that is on LSD making a film. Either way you take it you can easily tell Jodorowsky loves cinema. He loves it to the point where he is trying to still change the world. I believe there is a quote by Goddard that goes something like "It's over. There was a time maybe when cinema could have improved society, but that time was missed". Goddard quickly became one of the people that left cinema while Jodorowsky still believes that Cinema can change the people. It's just beautiful to see something that i love so much be handled with such care and creativity.

Grade A+

Hot Rods...to hell?

Hot Rods to hell (John Brahm, 1967)

What can i say, a film with a title like this should deliver. It compiles the most beautiful words in the English dictionary to create this amazing title. With that just said, I'm going to say i was a bit disappointed. It's not horrible, it's a good film and I'll get into those reasons in a bit but i just got to say one thing. That title should belong to the hands of Roger Corman and not a 60's era "old man hates teenagers" type of flick.

In Hot Rods to Hell we get a very fun Dana Andrews playing the father who recently got into a car accident and becomes tormented by driving. Sounds great so far, his two kids and his wife all decide to move from their home to go live in a motel to start a new life. Alright cool, we are getting a sweet road rage movie. Hot Rods to Hell, still remember the title? The pacing is really good within the film but it feels like it should be filled with much more. When we should be getting an amazing car chase we get an older man complaining about his back and why he can't drive.

We do however get to see some great car stuff especially within the final minutes of the film. The car stunt is amazing especially since it was done in the 60's. It's very simple but how it is captured is just breathtaking. This film does have Great parts which makes you feel like the movie is amazing but towards the end of the film we are left with a bit of emptiness. The title just doesn't deliver.

With the bad things said about this film being empty there is one aspect of this film that everyone needs to take into notice. This film was made in the late 60's before films starting going over the edge and taking cinema to a different level. If you are a fan of grindhouse and 70's film making in general, you must see this film. This is a perfect example of a film that COULD be that film but yet since it was made a few years earlier it has its restrictions. You can see where this film could have went and I'm not saying that you are making a different film in your head as it plays along.

This is a perfect example of a film lost between two periods of cinema. The film goes into the grittiness of the 70's with its plot and directions but the characters seem to be grounded into the years prior. It's just amazing to see that. This film is literally on the edge of two separate times in cinema and it's just weird and interesting to see.

Grade B-